Friday, August 9, 2013

A General Who Championed Dissent




Douglas Kinnard fought in three wars, retired as a brigadier general and began studying dissent. That was in 1970, when the high-flying West Pointer turned down a promotion after his second tour in Vietnam and returned to college to study for a Ph.D at Princeton. Like many other colleges, the Ivy League campus in New Jersey was in turmoil as students and faculty passionately protested the expansion of the war in Vietnam into Cambodia.

Kinnard, who had harbored private doubts about the war while in uniform, said in an interview years later: “I think that the people who demonstrated against the war … frankly, I think they did the country a great service.”

Asked what, in subsequent years, he taught his political science students at the University of Vermont about the Vietnam War, he said: “I taught them that it was a war that should not have been fought.”

Kinnard, a native of Paterson, NJ, who died July 29 at age 91, after Army service in World War II, Korea and Vietnam, was widely known as an author of military histories that reexamined established views. His obituary in The Record of North Jersey noted that he “ruffled the military establishment with his 1977 book ‘The War Managers,’ which asserted that the majority of generals who served in Vietnam from 1965 to 1972 were critical of how the war was run and, in retrospect, regretted U.S. involvement.”

According to The Record obit, Kinnard’s son, Frederick, said his father “also disagreed with the U.S. invasion of Iraq after 9/11. ‘He was extremely critical of going to war,’ the son said. ‘He felt that is the very last thing you do.’”

Kinnard was the author of several books, including an autobiography titled Adventures in Two Worlds: Vietnam General and Vermont Professor.

An insightful interview on Kinnard’s transformation from soldier to war critic can be found at:


  



Wednesday, July 10, 2013

July 4th Fireworks




Washington, NJ  7/4/05        (photo/Jan Barry)

I’ve enjoyed July 4th fireworks in many places over the years, from a tiny coastal town in Maine to New York City extravaganzas. But for some reason, I flinched more than usual this year, sitting in a lawn chair in a neighborhood park watching the vibrant, earth-shaking airbursts that delighted the crowd of local families.

Checking Facebook later, I found I was scarcely alone in feeling jumpy amid one of America’s favorite celebrations.

“This was the worst 4th of July yet,” an Iraq war veteran wrote,” and before you knew it, we got caught in early fireworks from one of the parks over the hill. The new dog, Moxie was terrified. BOO was freaked out too, I realized I was able to shelter him from fireworks his whole life except this year. I was jumping out of my skin even with the ear plugs in…”

On the Warrior Writers site, this message popped up: “I am celebrating this 4th of July by returning to Afghanistan. My mind is on edge and I can't sit still. This anxiety from the pop pop pops of fire crackers and booms of fireworks. Every sudden shot makes me jump…”

A Vietnam vet replied:  “Bro, I've jumped twice tonight in my house from the sound of fireworks…”

Besides outbursts by vets on Facebook, some thoughtful news providers alerted the public to this issue.

“Fourth of July is one of the loudest holiday celebrations of the year. As many of us prepare to celebrate the patriotic holiday, many veterans are preparing for the worst. Something as innocent as a fireworks display can trigger painful memories of the past,” KOLO television in Reno, Nevada reported on July 3.

“The explosive pops and booms of colors usually indicate a celebration, but they send army veteran, Michael Wells' heart racing. ‘You hear that boom boom and you're back in combat mode and freaking out,’ he said.”

And it’s not just the big official fireworks displays that unsettle many vets.  “My neighbor just started lighting up fireworks, the boom, boom, boom, I was freaked out for over an hour," Wells said. "I was shaking and couldn't really get back into it cause you know I was right there and it was so loud. When we got hit with mortars that's what it took me back to."

A public health doctor at George Washington University posted a Science Blog with suggestions on what folks who want to celebrate with fireworks can do to minimize the impact on neighbors who served in war zones.

“The National Fire Protection Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics’ teamed up to form the Alliance to Stop Consumer Fireworks. They argue that fireworks displays should be organized and managed by trained professionals, not neighborhood fire bugs,” wrote Dr. Celeste Monforton. “… For veterans and others suffering from PTSD, a ban on consumer fireworks would provide some relief.  They wouldn’t have to dread and suffer the consequences of impromptu blasts of fireworks in their neighborhoods, while taking steps to avoid the noise from their town’s scheduled public fireworks displays.”

For more information:


Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Ending Our War in Afghanistan

Teaneck, NJ Peace Vigil, March 2013

When the winds of war change in Washington, a great yawn spreads across the national news media these days.

“An unusual groundswell of support from House Republicans for a Massachusetts liberal’s [Rep. McGovern] measure is a stark example of changing sentiments on Afghanistan,” The New York Times reported in a blog post more than a week ago, news that somehow escaped the attention of editors who oversee the front page at the newspaper of record and its fellow mainstream media cohorts.

With no headlines in the major newspapers to trumpet this historic shift, it was left to The Nation, the tiny yet scrappy liberal weekly magazine, to explain the significance:

“ ‘Today is the first time in twelve years of war that a majority of the House of Representatives has voted to end the war in Afghanistan,’ Stephen Miles of the Win Without War coalition said after last Thursday’s vote,” John Nichols noted in a Nation blog post on June 17. “Because the Senate endorsed a similar measure in 2012—by a 62-33 vote—veteran antiwar activist Tom Hayden notes that ‘politically, the development means that the Obama administration effectively lacks any congressional authorization for a permanent military occupation of Afghanistan.’ ”

The House vote to set a timetable for ending the war in that part of the world clearly should be welcomed by millions of Americans who protested the Bush administration’s—and then the Obama administration’s—relentless war in Afghanistan and its spillover, secretive military actions in Pakistan. Given that there are US military forces still stationed in virtually every nation “liberated” by US forces in World War II, this Congressional action on Afghanistan is a very big deal.

Families of soldiers who have served repeated deployments in Afghanistan should be relieved to hear this news—not to mention, the troops themselves. And surely, the American public—whose waning support for the war in Afghanistan has been steadily dropping in the polls—is interested in the House’s politically attuned reading of public sentiment.

Duly noted, stated Roll Call, a leading publisher of Congressional news.

“When the House on Thursday overwhelmingly approved an amendment directing the president to remove all combat troops from Afghanistan by the end of 2014, it was far more important in reflecting the nation’s current mood toward the Afghanistan war — and war generally — than in having any practical effect on administration policy,” wrote Roll Call staffer Frank Oliveri.

“The amendment, approved 305-121 as part of the House-passed fiscal 2014 defense authorization bill (HR 1960), nonetheless serves as an important political message to the Senate and the Obama administration about the nation’s war fatigue, particularly as the president contemplates deeper involvement in the bloody Syrian civil war,” Oliveri added.

Ah, now there’s something news editors truly get excited about: The latest war the US government has waded into. The body counts, the grisly photos, the breathless banter about whose side we’re on, is well under way. What will be harder to find in the news is how and when that war will end…er, ebb…er, morph into the next war.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Lesson I Learned in War

Jennifer Pacanowski

By Jennifer Pacanowski

Speech to the Conference on the Veterans Peace Movement, Rutgers Presbyterian Church, New York City, May 18, 2013. 



The lessons of war I believe are different for everyone.

I have heard more than once from other veterans of all eras that war/conflict stays with you, seeps into your soul, creates moral injury—a restlessness that is unresolvable even with time.

PTSD is not curable.

All week long I have been struggling and battling with the ideas, What did I witness? What do I continue to witness as a veteran?  Creating a war again, a war with myself.

We bring the war home with us but my lesson to you today is that it does not have to define who we are as veterans, as people, as beings in this universe.

Every since my return from Iraq I have felt that my experiences in war have controlled and conquered who I was, how I react to other people, how I view myself and what my future would be.

From 2005 to 2011, I was a victim and prisoner to my emotions, my PTSD, my co-dependent relationships and my addictions.

I can not say it was a single moment I woke up one day and said, "no more" but I definitely started developing my own toolbox of coping.

At first, I dealt with my reactions of anger, of not applying the sledgehammer of rage to ALL situations but maybe starting smaller with a mallet of discussing what I was angry about and not just destroying everything in my path. I started fostering and training bullmastiffs, taking care of them gave me a reason to wake up.

My mother drove me to the veterans' retreat in Martha's Vineyard that slowly started the change of course in my life. THIS is where I first experienced a community of veterans talking, understanding each other, writing and creating combat paper.

As the years passed I allowed myself to grieve the loss of my idealism, MY YOUTH had been replaced with a hatred and resentment for everything I thought this country once stood for, honor, integrity, leadership, selfless service, loyalty, a fearless solidarity and defense for what is right.

Soberly, I cried and released the pain without feeling weak but empowered by my ability to break away from the conformity my mind had been trapped in.

During these last two years I have discovered a map to guide me. My map started with the process of putting the needle down and stop using my extensive medical knowledge to get high, escape and be numb…

Throwing away the VA meds, the bottles of whiskey and vodka and walk away from my hope of death.

To trailblaze a new path, to learn how to transition from war and from the military culture and not only do it for myself but also as I discovered to be able to help others too, as I have always wanted to do.

I moved to Ithaca to expand my comfort zone and embrace the future I never thought I would live long enough to see.

Working with the Veterans' Sanctuary, I found a healing approach that I disregarded because it was for hippies and tree huggers and well anyone else but me—this was of course the holistic approach.

I went to a "wellness chiropractor," acupuncture, I ran, I walked with my dogs in the sunshine, rain and snow, I went to the park and festivals, I farmed and celebrated pot luck dinners, I spoke to college students, we wrote and created art and combat paper but above all, I had a community, we created community.

Lately I have felt immersed in war and this idea of community has diminished into a job, facilitating workshops, speaking events, outreach, even my own writing a chore, a reminder of failure, feeling that no matter how much I do there is still more to be done, the wars go on and the veterans continue to be misunderstood, lost, addicted, homeless, suicidal, homicidal and traumatized by their communities and the system set up to help them, the VA.

And events like the Boston bombings validated my greatest fears of bombs blowing up on the streets in the USA.

For awhile it was like, FINALLY, after searching all these years for bombs in the road, scanning and scanning, reliving convoy after convoy, ALL THESE YEARS, it happened....... just like it use to every day in Iraq. Now my war truly came home and my angry, frustration and despair broke my core.

Today, however, in my moment of despair, a light shined on my map, the war IS with me, a part of me but it is does not have to consume me, it does not have to be a burden or a huge weight to be carried.

 It can be a thought that drives me or the war can disappear completely in those moments at the playground or the dog park.

My lesson about war, OUR LESSON IS CHANGE.

Challenge my mind to think differently about war, to change the way we feel about war.

Change it to something that works that helps me feel great, empowered, experienced… Knowledgable, so not all others will follow that path.

For my PTSD to kick ass and not let it kick my ass!!!!!!

In that way, I facilitate workshops so others can learn to express themselves in positive ways to create community.

The lesson I learned in war is that
Healing is not a job,
Speaking the truth is an honor, especially if I can speak for those who can
   not, and
Writing is my gift.

Most of all, for me, I had to change my perspective on my purpose....
I had to forgive myself for sacrificing my humanity in war,
To live and come home.


Jennifer Pacanowski, a former US Army combat medic who served in Iraq, is a poet and Warrior Writers facilitator for the Veterans Sanctuary in Ithaca, NY

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Iraq and Vietnam



Nearly 6 years ago, I shared these thoughts as part of a panel discussion at The New School university in New York City, on May 10, 2007... Much of it still applies as Americans mark the 10th anniversary of invading Iraq.


They are two different countries in different parts of the world. What unites Iraq and Vietnam are American attitudes and actions. After supporting the disastrous military campaign in Vietnam, a majority of Americans did the same thing all over again and supported invading Iraq. Indeed, the war in Iraq was a continuation of the bitter battles here at home over Vietnam.

As my friend, and fellow Vietnam vet, Ken Campbell, wryly notes in his new book—A Tale of Two Quagmires: Iraq, Vietnam, and the Hard Lessons of War—“Some have said we failed to learn the lessons of Vietnam. This is not quite true. The United States did, in fact, learn lessons from Vietnam. The problem is we learned too many lessons, and they frequently contradict each other.”

Perhaps the most disturbing lesson of all is that Americans are addicted to war. Even in the current climate of public dismay over what’s happening in Iraq, there is no civic groundswell to wage a diplomatic campaign to resolve issues that inflame the Middle East. Despite the horrendous carnage in Vietnam and its bloody sequel in Iraq, Americans are still primed to wage war against somebody. So much so, that an unusual coalition of retired generals, admirals and ambassadors has felt compelled to issue public warnings about the consequences of military action against Iran.

Is anybody listening to these voices of experience? Previously, a number of high ranking retired military leaders, vowing to never repeat their experience in Vietnam, publicly warned against invading Iraq—and were ignored by Congress, the Bush administration, the news media and the American people.       

And now some of the fiercest critics of the war in Iraq are soldiers who fought there.

“Americans generals have repeated the mistakes of Vietnam in Iraq,” a two-tour veteran of Iraq, Lt. Col. Paul Yingling, recently wrote in the Armed Forces Journal. “No one leader, civilian or military, caused failure in Vietnam or Iraq. Different military and civilian leaders in the two conflicts produced similar results,” he concluded in a devastating critique of the war he fought in. His proposed solution: choose better trained military leaders. Other veterans are calling for a reexamination of America’s fixation with finding military solutions to international disputes and ideological differences.

The Vietnam war, as the late great New York Times reporter David Halberstam insightfully noted, was a product of America’s “best and brightest” military and strategic shakers and doers. After Vietnam, the US military reorganized, retrained and redeployed its best units and commanders—and came up with the war in Iraq. Consequently, many veterans of Vietnam and Iraq are seeking a different strategy. 

A grassroots perspective that challenged the war policy was drafted by a group of Vietnam veterans who opposed the invasion of Iraq and issued a statement in spring 2003 signed by thousands of veterans, from World War II to the first Gulf War. Based on experience, these veterans said “we do not believe that the American military can or should be used as the police force of the world by any administration, Republican or Democrat. Consequently, we believe that the lives and well being of our nation's soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines should not be squandered or sacrificed for causes other than in the direct defense of our people and nation.”

A year later, as the first wave of invasion troops came home, a new organization was formed—Iraq Veterans Against the War. The group modeled itself on Vietnam Veterans Against the War. The sobering legacy of Vietnam and Iraq, these veterans hope, will be a transformation in America’s involvement in the world, from sending military expeditionary forces blundering blindly into other people’s homelands to true international cooperation and security.

Retired general William Odom, a Vietnam veteran and former head of the National Security Agency, tried to explain this call by veterans and others for a different course of action in a recent radio address:

"The challenge we face today is not how to win in Iraq; it is how to recover from a strategic mistake: invading Iraq in the first place,” Odom said. “The war could never have served American interests. But it has served Iran's interest by revenging Saddam Hussein's invasion of Iran in the 1980s and enhancing Iran's influence within Iraq. It has also served al Qaeda's interests, providing a much better training ground than did Afghanistan…. We cannot 'win' a war that serves our enemies interests and not our own. Thus continuing to pursue the illusion of victory in Iraq makes no sense.…

“No effective new strategy can be devised for the United States until it begins withdrawing its forces from Iraq.... Withdrawal is the pre-condition for winning support from countries in Europe that have stood aside and other major powers including India, China, Japan, Russia. It will also shock and change attitudes in Iran, Syria, and other countries on Iraq's borders, making them far more likely to take seriously new U.S. approaches, not just to Iraq, but to restoring regional stability and heading off the spreading chaos that our war has caused.”

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Teaching (and Learning) in Vietnam


Three decades after the end of the Vietnam War, Americans are welcome visitors and even classroom teachers in Vietnam.

Before launching a career as a teacher in Texas, John Davin, a native of Rockland County, NY, decided to broaden his experience by teaching in Vietnam for a year. Armed with a degree in English from Hunter College and a master’s in education from Long Island University, he ventured into the Southeast Asian nation that repelled a US military invasion—and then embraced Americans on peaceful pursuits. 
 
Amid his teaching stint at Da Lat University in the Central Highlands, Davin had these thoughts on his experience: 

“I imagine that we are building bridges here. I occasionally feel that, because of the lack of Americans here, we are small ambassadors for our nation. I imagine that we are dispelling some negative stereotypes about Americans, and also reinforcing some positive ones,” he wrote in a blog post.

Vietnam is rapidly changing and growing in its infrastructure,” he added in another blog post. “They are steadily modernizing and becoming an economic power in Southeast Asia, all the while reestablishing its cultural identity beyond the Vietnam War. It puts your work in a different perspective when you realize you are contributing to the economic and cultural revival of a nation.

Returning to Her Native Land to Teach

Iris Nguyen decided to return to the nation that her family fled from due to the bitter upheavals of what for many Vietnamese was a civil war. With a B.A. in political science from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, she is teaching courses in conversational English at An Giang University in the Mekong Delta. 

“Before I left to teach here, my family and friends had concerns about what kinds of food I would eat, and how I would deal with mosquitoes, the currency, and the language barrier,” she wrote to her sponsoring organization, Teachers for Vietnam. “What concerned me was whether or not my students would understand me, would I get the time to get to know my students and vice versa, whether or not I would be a good teacher, and most importantly, would I connect with my heritage and culture on another level than what I had experienced before. So far, I can safely say that I have managed to accomplish most of those things on my invisible checklist.”

Teachers for Vietnam, a small nonprofit organization based in Piermont, NY, sponsors newly minted college grads as well as experienced, older adults as teachers of English at universities in Vietnam. The program provides travel stipends and health insurance, which supplement salaries that cover living costs and housing provided by the host institutions.

The program was founded in 2006 by John Dippel, an historian and author who served in the US Army during the Vietnam War, with a focus on providing Americans to assist Vietnamese college students in honing language skills important to expanding their country’s tourism and international trade relations.

Memorable Encounters in Former War Zones

As a member of the board of directors of Teachers for Vietnam, I’ve heard and read about many memorable interactions of people from both sides of our previously warring nations. Davin, a US Navy vet, felt adopted by Vietnamese in Da Lat. Many others felt adopted by their students, families and communities.

“Part of the mission of Teachers for Vietnam (www.teachersforvietnam.org) is to bring native, American speakers, usually recent college graduates like myself, to the English department of Can Tho University,” Kelly Fitzgerald, a graduate of the University at Albany, State University of New York, wrote in a blog post. “We are supposed to share our culture, customs and linguistic knowledge with our students. They love English class – are surprisingly but refreshingly enthusiastic about it here, even though they are reluctant to actually speak it! I even have students who aren’t enrolled in the course who come sit down just to watch me teach.”

Fitzgerald wrote that she wasn’t enthralled with the heat, humidity and hordes of mosquitoes in the Mekong Delta city, nor with the university’s communist-legacy bureaucracy. But she loved the people she met in Can Tho.  

 “… it’s impossible to get frustrated with my students for long, as the ear-to-ear grin I get from every single one of them upon entering class every day is so humbling that I almost feel I’m not worth it. They invite me to dinner with their families, they offer me rides home on their motorbikes when it’s raining and they always tell me that I’m pretty, no matter how awful I might be looking that day. They are undoubtedly the best pupils that a first-year teacher could ever ask for,” she added.

Thinking about doing such an adventuresome experience? Teachers for Vietnam is currently accepting applications for the 2013-2014 academic year.

Apply (by April 1) to:
P.O. Box 384 Piermont NY 10968 info@teachersforvietnam.org
860-480-5041


For application form and further information:  teachersforvietnam.org/

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Moral Injury: Another Hidden Wound of War

Vietnam vet Randy Sachs throwing medal during
1971 war protest  (photo/Sheldon Ramsdell)





Often lost in the translation of war, for soldiers as well as folks back home, is that much of what goes on in a war is a moral outrage.

After a decade and more of warfare by American military forces in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and elsewhere in hot pursuit of elusive bands of armed insurgents hiding amid sprawling cities, remote villages and other gatherings of civilians, The Associated Press has unveiled another hidden wound of war—one not listed in the usual litanies of battlefield injuries and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

“With American troops at war for more than a decade, there's been an unprecedented number of studies into war zone psychology and an evolving understanding of post-traumatic stress disorder. Clinicians suspect some troops are suffering from what they call ‘moral injuries’ - wounds from having done something, or failed to stop something, that violates their moral code,” reported AP staff writer Pauline Jelinek.

“Though there may be some overlap in symptoms, moral injuries aren't what most people think of as PTSD, the nightmares and flashbacks of terrifying, life-threatening combat events. A moral injury tortures the conscience; symptoms include deep shame, guilt and rage. It's not a medical problem, and it's unclear how to treat it, says retired Col. Elspeth Ritchie, former psychiatry consultant to the Army surgeon general.”

Here’s where the US news media’s reporting on a touchy topic involving the military too often ends. But Jelinek and other AP staff members kept digging. What they found and reported is news for even military veterans who’ve been trying to follow the twists and turns of PTSD directives from government agencies:

“Dr. Brett Litz, a clinical psychologist with the Department of Veterans Affairs in Boston, sees moral injury, the loss of comrades and the terror associated with PTSD as a ‘three-legged stool’ of troop suffering. Though there's little data on moral injury, he says a study asked soldiers seeking counseling for PTSD in Texas what their main problem was; it broke down to ‘roughly a third, a third and a third’ among those with fear, those with loss issues and those with moral injury.”

The AP reporters sought out veterans who have suffered this seldom-discussed injury. 

“Lumping people into the PTSD category ‘renders soldiers automatically into mental patients instead of wounded souls,’ writes Iraq vet Tyler Boudreau, a former Marine captain and assistant operations officer to an infantry battalion.

“Boudreau resigned his commission after having questions of conscience. He wrote in the Massachusetts Review, a literary magazine, that being diagnosed with PTSD doesn't account for nontraumatic events that are morally troubling: ‘It's far too easy for people at home, particularly those not directly affected by war ... to shed a disingenuous tear for the veterans, donate a few bucks and whisk them off to the closest shrink ... out of sight and out of mind’ …"

The only problem with this startling news report is that it could have been done a decade ago, when US forces invaded Iraq in a massive assault that killed large numbers of civilians—or for that matter, four decades ago during the Vietnam war.

In 1973, however, there was no terminology, such as post-traumatic stress or moral injury, for what a generation that fought in Vietnam brought home. But many veterans raised moral issues in protests against the war's continuation, including a 1971 demonstration in Washington where hundreds of veterans hurled war medals over a crowd control fence at the Capitol building, an event widely reported in the news media.  

Here is what a Marine veteran of that war discovered and has been writing about for years in Internet postings.

“The observation that some human beings become moral casualties because of their experiences in war is not new. Historically, many societies have recognized war’s deleterious moral effects and required returning warriors to undergo elaborate atonement and purification rituals,” notes Camillo Mac Bica, who left the Marines to become a philosophy professor. “These ‘therapies’ provided the means and the opportunity to cope with the moral enormity of their actions in war.

“Tragically, the moral injuries of modern warriors, however, have been virtually ignored, overlooked, or disregarded by the conventional therapeutic community … Focusing, instead, upon stress and trauma, most moral symptoms presented by returning soldiers are either not taken seriously or assimilated under the diagnostic umbrella of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Consequently, the veterans receive the signal that an inability to forget, to put the war behind them, is either weakness or, perhaps worse, illness. … Unfortunately, in most cases, moral injury neither responds well to medication nor can it be rationalized away,” Bica added.

Coming home from war, he noted, “I realized that Vietnam had profoundly affected my life, that war takes its toll on body, mind and spirit. I realized as well that America had little tolerance, interest or understanding for its returning warriors. I was called a drug addict and baby killer by many in the general public and ostracized even by fellow veterans from previous wars for being a crybaby and a loser, for lacking dedication and effort, for disgracing the ‘uniform,’ ourselves and the country for contributing to what was widely regarded as America's first lost war. This realization that I was alienated and alone and that no one seemed to understand or care about what I was undergoing, made me sad at first. Soon after that sadness was replaced by anger and resentment. 

“After several years of isolation and denial, trying to avoid ‘contaminating’ friends and family and the stigma of being a Vietnam veteran, I was convinced by another vet to seek help at the Veterans Administration (VA). Almost immediately, I was assailed by VA clinicians who ‘diagnosed’ my inability to cope, alienation, nightmares, etcetera as personal inadequacy and weakness, probably due to some pre-existing condition, perhaps a personality disorder, maybe even schizophrenia. Most likely, they hypothesized, my difficulties had something to do with my mother being overweight or my being toilet-trained too early. What was peculiarly absent from all this analysis and testing and the ad hominem attacks, however, was any reference to the war. 

"So, I blamed myself for my weakness and my mother for her eating habits and for how she raised me, and resigned myself to the fact that, for all intents and purposes, at 25, my life was over. Was I crazy, a baby killer, a crybaby, a coward? Perhaps I was all of these. Needless to say, I wasn't very pleased with myself, with those around me, or with the fact that, other than a heavy regimen of Thorazine, what some refer to as a ‘chemical lobotomy,’ VA doctors and clinicians weren't offering much help and guidance. So, it became apparent to me that if I was going to salvage what remained of my life - and I was not at all sure healing was possible - I needed to do it myself, to come to an understanding, perhaps even an acceptance, of what I had done and what I'd become.”

The question now is how much has changed for the current crop of war veterans? If moral injury is not officially acknowledged and seriously addressed, could this account for the on-going suicide epidemic among veterans and active duty troops?

The AP’s special report doesn’t ask these questions.  Instead, it veers off track:

“Many in the armed forces view PTSD as weakness. Similarly, they feel the term ‘moral injury’ is insulting, implying an ethical failing in a force whose motto stresses honor, duty and country,” writes Jelinek, who covers the Pentagon for the AP.

“At the same time, lawyers don't like the idea of someone asking troops to incriminate themselves in war crimes — real or imagined.

“That leaves a question for troops, doctors, chaplains, lawyers and the military brass: How do you help people if they don't feel they can say what's bothering them?”

A fuller report would have added the insights of dissenting veterans like Bica, who resigned from a Marine officer’s post, signed himself out of a VA facility to study philosophy and continued over the years to ask fundamental questions.

“Acknowledging the existence of moral casualties in war demonstrates that the clinical model - pathologizing a veteran's readjustment difficulties as mental illness - is inadequate and requires further evaluation,” Bica wrote in a blog post. “On the positive side, it enhances our understanding of the war experience and its devastating effects, expands our area of concern beyond trauma and PTSD, and allows us to more adequately meet the needs of our returning servicemen and –women.”

For more information: